RESPECT & HONOUR: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE By PS BEN KC LEE
We call judges “your honour”. Some societies have special words of honour reserved for the older person. An older brother and sister is called by a special term of honour. Some have a tradition of bowing to others out of respect and deference.Respect and honour in society are almost always conditional. They are reserved for those whom we decide are worthy of receiving them according to their abilities, qualities and achievements. We respect people who have earned it. We respect people with position but those below that - we don’t have to respect.
Increasingly our world is becoming rude and disrespectful. The favourite kind of humour today is sarcasm. We hear - He or she has not earned my respect. Many slip into this way of thinking when we talk about others.
This culture of dishonour is growing. Online critics flame leaders. News images of flying chairs and punch-ups during parliament overseas are tragic. Even children cartoons reflect fighting, rebellion and insulting of any and all around.
Let’s look at honour and respect, see if they are any different and how we might grow in them.
Honour and Respect
The Greek word translated “honour” is timao. This means to prize (Strong’s Concordance). Showing honour means treating another respectfully because we value them highly.
To honour is to recognise a person’s worth and value. All people are made in the image of God. Honour is showing awe and awareness of the sacredness of God’s creation. It is placing value on someone because of who they are. It attaches worth to that person as an individual.
The Greek word for respect is timesate. This means to honour or value. Respect is to treat people with dignity. Love always treats people with respect (I Jn. 4:8). It does not mean we endorse what they do or believe but we respect the individual as a creation of God.
Respect is giving a person the attention he or she deserves. It is to pay attention. Minimally, giving someone respect is being polite to them. It can be standing up when an older person enters the room. The primary way we show respect is with our words. It is to be nonjudgmental.
Similarities and Differences
An author put it this way. We respect a person based on their attitudes and actions. Respect is our outward response to the proper attitudes and behaviour of the other person. For example we respect leaders who stand for morality over popularity. Honour comes more from the heart. It is a feeling of regard for a person. It is sometimes synonymous with love (Rom. 12:1).
Whether or not I respect a person says something about their life, values and character. Whether or not I honour a person says something about my life, values and character.
The biggest difference is not between honour and respect but between the Christian use of these two words and the world’s use of them.
The words “honour” and “respect” in our English language is about degree. Respectful behavior is often thought of as a small portion of what honour is. Being honoured can mean that one has reached the peak of societal respect.
While it’s true that the basic honour is respecting others, honour is more than having great respect. For example, we honour a person because of their position of responsibility. Honour is a requirement we give to the office of leadership.
Honour and respect have nothing to do with one being honoured. The focus should be the beholder, the person giving honour and respect. We honour people not because of what they do but who they are. Whether or not someone deserves it, honour him or her as God’s creation. Honour others because God loves them. Whether we think the person has earned it or not, people require respect. We should respect all people.
Practicing Honour and Respect
It’s not whether respect is different from honour but whether we live this out. You will reap what you sow. If your family relationships are currently dishonouring, start cultivating a culture of honour. Here are some suggestions.
The starting point is an attitude of meekness. Paul tells us to “esteem others better than” ourselves (Phil. 2:3). Esteem one another.
Be careful not to let another person’s weakness or failures erode our respect for their good qualities. We are all imperfect. Don’t let someone’s weakness control us. Don’t allow how disrespectful a person is to determine how respectful we are.
Your husband, wife, child, boss or employee may make foolish decisions. He or she may be forgetful. Yet chances are good that he or she wants to be a good person and do the right thing. We can respect the desire of someone’s heart even if we are disappointed by his or her actions.
To reject the leader’s or parent’s authority is to dishonour them. Don’t harden your heart towards your parent or leader. A root of bitterness will prevent healing and recognising the good in that person. You can be respectful even if you don’t obey an unrighteous instruction.
When we dishonour others, it is a sure sign we are thinking of ourselves or others wrongly. To judge someone worthy of less than honour is to put yourself above them and God.
Begin with a commitment to give respect. Look for qualities that you can respect. Draw that to the surface. Maintain a posture of honour toward the calling of God on each person. Look for the good in people and honour that.
Speak respectfully to parents and leaders by an act of our will. Towards self, maintain self-respect (I Cor. 12:15-18).
To whom is honour due?
Honour and fear God. This begins with deep honour and respect for God. The first four commandments lay the foundation for this.
Honour parents and children. The last six commandments deal with our relationships with other people. The fifth commandment is to honour your father and mother. Paul repeats the command in Eph. 6:2-3. A society built on a healthy family unit where dad and mom are honoured will be a society that will also obey the last five commandments.
Honour our spouse. In I Pet. 3:7, Paul asks husbands to treat his wife like she is the finest in the land. Paul links this with our relationship with God. Paul also asks wives to respect their husband in Eph. 5:33.
Honour others. Older people should be honoured (Lev. 19:32). Younger men and women are like valued brothers and sisters (I Tim. 5:1-2). Widows should be honoured (I Tim. 5:3). Honour those in authority (Rom. 13:1). Church elders are to be honoured (I Tim. 5:17). Paul teaches us to honour church leaders who are faithful and hardworking and who correctly teaches God’s Word twice as much.
Summary
Respect and honour go hand in hand.
“Respect everyone and show special love for God’s people. Honour God and respect the emperor.” I Pet. 2:17
Christ valued people. He elevated our status. He directs us to render respect to whom respect is due and render honour to whom honour is due. Respect others because He said so.
There is no reason for disrespectful and dishonouring behaviour in the life of a Christ follower. We represent Christ in this world. One value we must build our lives upon is the value of being respectful. Develop a Godly, respectful attitude toward those around you. This will add a deeper dimension to our relationships.
We all want to be respected. We want others to treat us with dignity.
Imagine a world where everyone honours everyone else. The world would be a very different place. It would demonstrate the powerful, upside down nature of the Kingdom of God which is rooted in self-sacrifice for others.
This article was first published in Impact magazine (Singapore) Volume 38, No 6, Dec-Jan 2015 issue
