MODESTY - A Forgotten Virtue? By Pastor Ben KC Lee

A local church in Singapore was in the news not long ago for barring a woman from worship. She was wearing three-quarter pants. The church explained that it was important to have an atmosphere of reverence during corporate worship.

Many dress for comfort in our hot and humid weather. This often translates to slippers, tank tops and Bermuda pants for everyday wear and even for corporate worship. 

I take the point that modesty is an important issue in the church environment. Modesty is rarely addressed because it can be controversial. It is controversial because of a clash of values. Women in some cultures cover up almost totally but too many women in our culture are virtually undressed by latest fashions.

Much of the dressing today seems to expose rather than to cover the human body. Low necklines and high hemlines mean a lot of cleavage and flesh in the church environment. Some men unbutton shirts halfway down their chest and surround themselves in a cloud of aftershave. Teen boys wear low-rise jeans to publicly display their underwear.

As a Christ follower, one does wonder if modesty is a forgotten virtue? After all, God’s Word teaches us that the purpose of clothing is covering, protection and identification (Gen. 3, Deut. 22:5). Scripture also seems to discourage preoccupation with clothing (Isa. 3:17-24).


Two Scriptures

It will be helpful to consider two important Scriptures on modesty. The first is I Timothy 2:9-10. Some interpret this passage as requiring women to dress plainly and avoid jewelry and makeup. Most would understand this Scripture to mean dress modestly and appropriately. Appropriate in the sense that the purpose of being present at the corporate worship is to worship the Lord.


The word modest in verse 9 means being well ordered or well arranged and not in excess. The word decency means humility and proper as compared to outspoken and bold. In other words, the Christian woman should show respect, reverence and regard for others. Then the word propriety means prudent, to conduct oneself with soundness of mind and to be in control of one’s emotions. Put together, these words mean she reigns in her passions and desires, and exercise self-control.

Some wealthy Christians at that time wore expensive clothes, jewelry and hairstyles to show off their wealth during corporate worship. This is totally out of place in a worship service to honour and glorify Christ. When preaching, I remind listeners that it is difficult to preach with diamonds flashing across the auditorium. I explain that since I don’t preach with sunglasses, I invite the ladies to put their diamonds into our offering bags. Our folks always get the point.

The second Scripture is I Peter 3:1-5. Here the apostle Peter encourages wives to dignify her womanhood without provoking the stares of the opposite sex. The Christian lady’s dressing should reflect a heart focused on her love for God and should attract attention to her godly character and not to her actions or clothing. Similarly, the attractiveness of single women is in her godly character and testimony for the Lord rather than outward sexual appeal.

1 Peter 3:1-5 

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,

Comparatively, inward spiritual adornment is more precious to God and more effective for Christians than the outward physical adorning. True beauty comes from within and is properly expressed by good deeds rather than scant or showy dressing. True beauty radiates from a Godly heart to the face of a Godly person.

Both passages are clear that the Lord calls women not to call attention to themselves or to dress up to lure men. Godly women express their Godly hearts by their outward modest dress. It can be said the Bible’s rules about dress may not always apply directly to today’s situation. The principles of modesty and propriety do. They are not burdensome because the law of Christ is written in our hearts (2 Cor. 3:2-3).


Some Arguments 

Some still argue against modesty. “We are reaching unbelievers so we need to look like the world.” Others say: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Yet another may retort: “It’s not my fault that they can’t keep their eyes off me.“

To follow the crowd is just not smart. Rom. 12:1-2 and I John 2:15 make that clear. Actually, you can judge a book from its cover. Like if you see the word “Playboy” then you know what kind of magazine it is. So we dress modestly in a way that cannot reasonably cause a brother or sister to stumble by having unwholesome thoughts and refrain from certain outfits out of love for our neighbour.

Humble Counsel 

Immodesty can be defined as dressing that draws attention to the body rather than the face. Recently I had a first-hand encounter. Picture with me that our church auditorium is sloped. One Sunday, a member called from the row of seats behind my wife and I inviting us to say hello to her guest. I turned around and her friend was right in front of my eyes wearing a low cut blouse. I had to be deliberate to look up at her eyes. Her dressing did not help.

Ladies, please dress in such a way to draw men’s attention towards your eyes, your face and not towards the other parts of your bodies. Here is the balance. An author noted that a particular girl had on her face enough paint to paint a battleship and enough powder to blow it up.

Women need to learn to handle the desire to be noticed by preserving it for one man, whether he is present yet or not. Remember that some clothing is meant for the private setting of a married couple’s bedroom.

I am not arguing for a strict dress code. We should apply discernment and wisdom in this area. The Godly way is not to dress in a bland, backward and unattractive manner. Being dressed fashionably does not mean immodest. We can be well groomed without being sensuous or revealing.


Helpful Tips 

Men, we got to ask ourselves: If our cologne arrives in church 5 minutes before we do, did we put it on for Christ? Women can ask yourselves: “Does my clothing indicate an inward desire to worship Christ?” And if you have to choose between being attractive or virtuous, I encourage you to choose virtue. You will not always have to choose but sometimes you will.

Some time back a young lady came to worship with a blouse that exposed her mid-riff. I would imagine that her top would go even higher when she raised her hands in worship. After the service I stood by the door to greet worshippers. When she came up, I told her that I was glad she was here for worship. I added that she might want to wear a jacket since our air-conditioned auditorium can get cold. She got the message.

Christian parents ought to model and teach their children. Pastors ought to address modesty in the church environment. The modesty issue is partially due to a lack of training concerning physical appearance. Some women might be oblivious as to when their attire is a distraction.

I would encourage ladies to use the mirror check. Try on the things that may be questionable. Think of first impressions from your dressing. Apply the “hallelujah test” for tops and the bending test for skirts. The Singapore school system has a helpful one palm above the knee rule. One Christian camping ministry defined modest dressing by the use of three L’s: long, loose and lots.

In summary, dressing modestly in itself is not all that God requires. Mere outward conformity to God’s Word never has and never will impress God. Outward modesty comes from inward modesty.

Dressing modestly wont get us to heaven. It also does not make God love us more than He already does. But it does express our personality and spiritual maturity. It does help those around us avoid impure thoughts. Mature believers will think about others and not just of one self. Modesty does not need to be a forgotten virtue.

(First published in IMPACT magazine vol. 36, no. 3, June/July 2012 Singapore.)